home again

So David is home this week. After being at the hospital for the last week. My life has been consumed with going to work, taking care of kids, getting kids where they need to me then taking care of david when I get home. I am so lucky that my friends have stepped up and have been sending food...I haven't had to cook at all in the past 3 weeks. It has been the biggest relief to just be able to warm something up in the microwave and give it to the kids. Every evening for the last three weeks I have had to flush the the lines on Davids PICC IV. I also have to hook up his antiviral meds and I've him all of his pills. I have a special pill box I use and we have set alarms on his phone to help me remember. After I unhook the antiviral medication, I flush all of the lines and heprine lock them and then I am done for the evening. Each night I sleep knowing what the following day is going to be like ....work, kids, taking care of David. Everyone keeps telling me to take care of myself, to eat, to keep running...but I am just too mentally drained to do any of the things that I normally do for myself. But this week I have a 10k that I ws training for nd I really want to be able to do this ND to feel normal again....so I go to my 10k aNd even though i want to quit...I keep that Just Pruitt attitude and I get through it. Now to get through this next week and hear what Dr. Cortes has to say........and there is that black cloud again..... Since this whole thing started 3 weeks ago I kind of went off the map from Facebook. I didn't feel like posting anything or doing anything that has to do withfAcebook. So instead I decide to post pics of David and I. He is my super hero because he is handeling all of this with such strength and grace that to me he is my very one man of steel. So I started calling him "my superman". Within days, it really stuck and everyone started calling David susperman and everyone started following the pictures. During this time is when people started giving me advice on how to take of myself, or offering to take the kids,or help out with David. I know I can't do all of this on my own and I know I need help, but who do I ask? We have Davids family here but they live an hour away anda they work and have lives of their own. They are already driving David to the hospital hat more can they help me with? No one can help me with Thea emotional part of this. No one can help me deal with the physical changes I see in my husband. I have decided that I will not show anyone how I'm feeling. I put on a brave face and just smile and fake it all. In one respect I am so glad I have work! I can go and take care of other peoples kids and not face what's going on at home.