checking in - first day of chemo

We woke up the kids a little late this morning so that they could eat breakfast with David. It was hard to sit around and act like nothing was going on. Although they are too little to understand the fullness of what is going on, the sense something is happening. When they were ready a for school I told them to tell daddy good bye because they wouldn't see him for a few days. They hugged him and told him they loved him and they skipped out the door as David sat down to sob that he was sayi g good bye to the kids. I take the, to school and sign them I late and face a few brave soles who are strong enough to ask what the day holds for David. Funny thing is that no one askaed me what my day held....it was almost like this day was only about David it wasnt about anyone else. I return to the house to a more composed David who tells me that while I was gone MD Anderson called and I'd we didn't have to be there til after 1:00. So we decided to do something normal....we decided to folds and put away 3 weeks of laundry that had a been sitting in baskets because we had been too busy to do it. In the meantime...my phone was blowing up with text messages wondering if we had checked in and if he chemo had started. It was hard not to be upset that that was all anyone wanted. We packed David's stuff, I made sure the kids had someone that was going to meet them when they got home and that all of my 9 year old baseball uniform was out and already a for his game that a night. W arrived at MD Anderson around 1:30 and find that Davids sister has decided to sit with us awhile because she was in he neighborhood. We couldn't just do this alone.... So she stayed with us for an hour or so. We end up waiting until 730 pm. W get into the room and the nurse is ready a to start the chemo...but wait David doesn't have a port. The nurse is confused by this..she said it should have been done before. But we were told that everything would be done once he gets into his room. Miscommunication #1... The first of many to come. So I decide to help David get situated in his room. Then he sees the time...and tells me I havea to leave because I have to try and make some of the 9 year olds baseball game and I still have a 45 - 55 minute drive home. So I say goodbye to my husband who is going to go through all this stuff alone. I walk through the hall to the elevators and tears start to roll down my cheeks. I step into the elevator and ate doors close. I am in there alone traveling down 11 floors and I collapse on the floor and sob all 11 floors down. I stand upand a quietly walk through the hospital to m car with tears falling down my face and people looking at me knowing that I am going through something....I get sympathetic smiles or sympathetic glances. I get in my car and drive awa with a MD Anderson in the rear view mirror while I cry all the way home. This has just gotten real. And the best part is tomorrow I will be at work while my husband is going through chemo. What is going one? How am I going to do this? Only time will tell. I get to the game in time to see my sons last bat and play in the outfield. The evening is complete and now I am home and call David. After awhile he tells me that they have put in his PICC IV and it took 45 minutes to do it and it was painful. I'm silently crying because I don't want him to hear how upset I am. Now I'm off to sleep....will I be able to sleep? While I'm at home asleep... David started his chemo at 4am.